Consent for sex: Is it a yes or a no? How to ask

What if the person you want to have sex with... doesn't want to have sex with you? If you still go ahead and have sex with them, that's rape. You could face jail time and have a permanent criminal record . There’s a simple way to make sure you have consensual sex (sex where both people consent and are willing to do it) every time. Let’s have a look…

Getting a firm ‘Yes!’

Even in the heat of the moment, at a party or with someone you’re very attracted to, pausing to ask for consent is always the best idea. And the trick is to only have sex if you hear them clearly say yes! Think of it this way: if the person wants to have sex, they will consent to sex.  And once you’ve heard one ‘no’, stop.

 A no is never a yes – whatever the situation. Here are four examples:

1) If someone said earlier in the day that they would like to have sex, and then they change their mind, it is a no.

2) If someone starts having sex with you, and then changes their mind and wants to stop, it is a no, and you need to stop.

3) If someone invites you to their place and cuddles you in bed, and says no, it is a no.

4) If you buy someone a drink or a gift, it doesn’t mean they have said yes to sex. It is just a yes for a drink or a gift.

Ok, so how do you ask someone if they want to have sex with you? Simple! You just ask them. If you aren't ready to talk to your partner about sex, it might mean you are not ready to have sex. And if they say yes, then remember to get tested for HIV together, before you have sex. That way when you do have sex, you will know what your status is, what their status is, and you will have condoms with you from the clinic so you can enjoy yourself.

To find out how to talk to your partner about condoms, read this short article: How to talk to your partner about condoms.

P.S.: If you are still unsure about what consent means, watch this video. Note! Only watch this if you are 18 years and over (contains swearing), and it will use data: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8



Likes
3
Add a Comment/Question
2
You need to be signed in to add a comment or like an article.


SIGN IN


B-Wise User Anonymous 16 October 2018 23:33

Induku yami ayivuki manginomuntu wese fazane ivuka mangishaya indlwaphu ngasizakala kanjani?

B-Wise Expert Expert 20 November 2018 08:15

Sawubona, Siyabonga ngombuzo wakho.

Ziningi izinto ezingenza kube nzima ukuvukelwa kumuntu wesilisa. Kungabe kukhona into engakuphethe kahle emoyeni noma ekukhathazayo? Kungabe kunezinkinga Phakathi kwakho nentombi yakho? Mhlambe ukungethembani? Lokhu kungenza ukuthi ungavukelwa, kodwa ungapheli amandla, zama ukwehlisa umoya, ukhululeke, unethezeke, mawuhleli nentombi yakho uzokwazi ukuvukelwa.