Does 'love' have an age? Relationships with someone older

Love is a strong feeling of affection or liking someone. There is the love we feel for our family and friends and then there's romantic love. Romantic love is when you have intense or passionate feelings for someone like your boyfriend or girlfriend.

If this someone is much older than you, it can get complicated! An older boyfriend or girlfriend might have access to things you don't: they might live on their own, drive a car and have money which lets them buy you nice things. But when your boyfriend or girlfriend is more 'experienced' than you, you might feel that going out with them comes with more expectations - like the expectation that you will have sex with them. And because of your lack of 'experience', they might have too much power or control.

  • Sometimes being with someone older might make you feel like they have all the control and make all the decisions.
  • An older boyfriend or girlfriend might also be more controlling than a boyfriend or girlfriend of similar age and experience. They might tell you what to wear, who you can spend time with, or check up on you all the time. This is not okay - a controlling relationship is not a healthy relationship.

If you are in a relationship with someone much older or younger, remember that it could be against the law.

In South Africa, if you are under the age of 16 it is illegal to date anyone over the age of 18. Also, if you have sex with someone under the age of 16, then you are breaking the law.

We know that older men infect young women with HIV and are likely to get you pregnant. Please resist having a relationship with older men!

Read more here about dating safety.

Adapted from: Get the Facts.

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B-Wise User Mthethwa 15 July 2020 18:59

Hi I 13 I have a crush on someone and he also he has a crush on me is it time for to tell him about my feelings

B-Wise User Anonymous 28 May 2020 17:27

Hi there I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18 years old .He loves me and I love him .He been my friend since we were at pre sxul together .But since we have been dating for 2years he began asking me about sex and at what age I'll be comfortable with him touching me and I just responded with the age of 22and he's fine with that did I do the right thing becoz I'm unsure

B-Wise Expert Expert 29 May 2020 09:31


It is important that you have sex when you are ready to have sex. Don't feel any pressure from your boyfriend or from anyone else. 

Read this article:

B-Wise User Anonymous 11 May 2020 19:25

Hello!!I love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul he loves me too but he's just too old for me i tried my best leaving him and move on but i just can't i can't picture my life without him people advised me to break up with him but i just can't I'll be miserable without him i see and feel that he loves me too he does listen to me and he's so romantic and even thou im introvert but i love being around him any advice from you?? I'm 17 and he's 40

B-Wise Expert Expert 12 May 2020 11:06


He is too old for you. You are at two different phases of life and it's going to stop you from growing. You will find someone else who loves you and takes care of yourself. You need to focus on school and on your dreams.

B-Wise User Anonymous 11 May 2020 17:41

Does love have an age?

B-Wise Expert Expert 12 May 2020 10:39


Please read this article;

B-Wise User KÃ?TlWANO 11 May 2020 00:16

Hi My brother is 12 and his dating a 12 year old Is it fine

B-Wise Expert Expert 11 May 2020 11:35


Legally, it is fine but they are too young to be dating. Talk to your brother about sex and how they shouldn't do that yet.

B-Wise User Hdannids 8 May 2020 11:37

I have on a 15 year old boy I liked him for a long time and I wanna be in a relationship with him but I'm only 13 and I heard stories about him like he is a cheater and has too many girlfriends

B-Wise Expert Expert 8 May 2020 14:06

Hi there,

You need to take your time before dating someone. Especially if you have heard stories about them.

B-Wise User Anonymous 19 April 2020 21:31

Hey I'm Buttercup not member I wanted to ask you about does love have an age because I am worried about my little sister who is dating because she is 11 and I think she might do something stupid and I don't want her to get hurt

B-Wise Expert Expert 20 April 2020 12:12

Hi there,

Your sister is too young to be dating because she might be pressured to do things like have sex. please sit down with her and talk to her about your concerns. 

B-Wise User Anonymous 4 April 2020 21:26

Hi I'm a teenage girl who is like by a older boy who's 19 and I'm only 15 he always asks me about which sex position do I like and we not even dating so what can I do or tell him that I don't feel comfortable around himð???

B-Wise Expert Expert 8 April 2020 16:15

Hi there,

The older boy has no right to make you feel uncomfortable. Please tell him that he is making you uncomfortable because you are not even dating. If he doesn't listen, please inform your teacher or parent.

B-Wise User Anonymous 31 August 2019 19:11

I believe that Love doesn't have age or when to love who. All that doesn't exist. The most important thing is to be careful of we think we love and who we offer our love.

B-Wise User Anonymous 8 May 2019 13:05

Luv is a very strong feeling we can't stop our selves from loving someone ð??ª

B-Wise User Anonymous 20 July 2018 10:00

hey I'm a 17 yr old grl I've been in a relationship with this other guy.I really loved him tht I became stupid and let him break my virginity. so we had sex five times. every time he wld text me asking me abt sex and it became annoying. I regret hvng sex with him, but there is nothing I can do because uzenzile kakhalelwa.But frm reading some articles hear I've gained the momentum to learn and acknowledge frm my mistakes I dd in the past. a woman once told me tht in a car dealer shop u find out tht there is this beautiful and nice car tht everyone wants to ride reflect it to a grl u find out tht there is a guy out there tht wants to just use u,so back to the car some random guy bought the car and used it recklessly up until it had no value. same applies to girls once a guy gets wht he wants he dumps you like a piece of Sh* grls out there plz be careful of who u love, just wait fr the right time to come