How to deal with a breakup

Breakups are never easy! In the beginning, relationships can seem perfect, and you might think that you will spend the rest of your life with your bae. When that relationship comes crashing down, you may be left with a broken heart, pain and sometimes even anger. Everybody handles breakups differently, but here are a few tips on what can help you deal with a breakup.

Do:
  • Mourn the end of your relationship, whether you were the dumper or dumped.
  • Talk about your feelings to close friends who can comfort you.
  • Remind yourself about the good things that you have to offer to the world.
  • Start doing fun things to fill the time that you would normally spend with your ex.
  • Think of the breakup as a lesson. It will help you to make better decisions in future.
  • Take things slowly if you start dating again.

Don't:
  • Go out of your way to hurt your ex just because you are hurt!
  • Post emotional or angry statuses on your ex's social media - you will regret this later! If you don't trust yourself not to do this, rather unfriend or unfollow them.
  • Use alcohol or take drugs to cope with your feelings. They won't fix the problem, and they can put you in risky situations.

There will be good days and bad days, but with time you can get over your breakup. If you feel that you are not coping at all, it is a good idea to speak to a trusted adult. They might be able advise you on what to do next.

For more articles on relationships check out the Your Peeps section on B-Wise.

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B-Wise User Pholoso 7 June 2019 12:44

Hello, I've been married for 3 years and last year my wife left with our 2year old son. She hasn't divorced me yet but won't allow my son to visit me and my family. What can I do to have my son visit me?

B-Wise Expert Expert 10 June 2019 16:53

Hi there thank you for your question. Sorry to hear about your situation. You may have to go to court or visit the local police station to get an affidavit to see your son. 



B-Wise User Malindy 5 June 2019 22:25

I found out HIV+ while i was 20 weeks of pregnant and started away to take ARVs and i do accept my situation, i only have one question in my mind does my unborn child going to born negative as i wish ? Cos i also dicided to not breastfeeding if i give birth cos i want only the best for my child

B-Wise Expert Expert 9 June 2019 08:50

Hi there, read this article to get the answers you need https://bwisehealth.com/article/what-do-i-do-if-im-hiv-positive-and-find-out-i-am-pregnant



B-Wise User OnayDa1st 31 May 2019 20:55

Do you think black people take Break up serious?

B-Wise Expert Expert 3 June 2019 08:19

Hi there, thank you for your question. Yes everyone takes break-ups seriously a person does not have to be a certain race to take break-ups seriously



B-Wise User Anonymous 31 May 2019 13:42

HI how can I tell my mum I have depression?

B-Wise Expert Expert 31 May 2019 15:54

Hi thank you for your question. You can read this article to get your information How to talk to your parents or caregivers about important things



B-Wise User Anonymous 28 May 2019 22:58

Hello, why I always being hurt by every girl I date? And we don't last for long

B-Wise Expert Expert 31 May 2019 11:33

Hi there, thank you for your question. It would be that you may not be compatible with the girls you choose to date, give yourself some time to heal and learn before you get into your next relationship 



B-Wise User MOKGADI 27 May 2019 13:39

How then does one deal with a partner that just doesnt want to accept that you want out of the relationship?

B-Wise Expert Expert 28 May 2019 10:01

HI there, thank you for your question. Dealing with a break-up can be difficult. It would be best that you give your partner time to accept that you are no longer in the relationship. Avoid keeping contact with your ex-partner will also help them accept that the relationship is over. 



B-Wise User Anonymous 16 May 2019 15:40

Everything is clear

B-Wise User Anonymous 9 May 2019 17:57

Hi im a 24 years old guy im dating im dating a 21 years old gal.i have a problem with her she is always logged in on facebook but she dont start conversations with me when i ask her she tells me that i have to start the conversation, but when i start the conversation she dont reply , and when i ask her why are you not replying she tells me that she was busy and says that she dont want to be asked many â?? and now she dumped me.and im not happy with it

B-Wise User Joy07064 21 December 2018 20:35

Hi M 22 of age and my boyfriend is 24 we have been dating for 4 years now and six months as we had our difficulties but we managed to overcome everything he took my virginity and I didn't regret a thing cause I trusted him with everything I gave him my all,he cheated on me and I still forgave him he slept with Two girls and yet I still forgave him not because m stupid or anything but I loved him and very much and I still do and yes we broke up since this early in October and worst part m carrying his child it's very Hard and it's hurt at the very same time I even tried to commit suicide twice And I don't have anyone to talk to that's why I signed to B.Wise because I really need help I really do

B-Wise Expert Expert 7 January 2019 09:35

Hi there. Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have been through so much together, and it makes sense that it hurts a lot right now. It’s OK to feel sad and angry about what has happened. You may feel these feelings for a while. But if it’s affecting your life, your health, or even your will to live, it would be a good idea for you to get some support for what you’re going through. You are worth it, and suicide is not the best solution. If you want to speak to someone face-to-face, you can see if a clinic near you has a counsellor, psychologist or social worker Clinic finder   or speak to a social worker or psychologist at your school. If you can’t find anyone you trust close by, you can call Lifeline on 0861 322 322 or SADAG’s Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837 - they have counsellors available to support you. This article can help too: For anyone thinking about suicide…

Carrying his child also means that there are things to think about and work out – does he know about the pregnancy? Do you want to have the child and raise the child? What are you expecting from him? These are hard questions to answer, but it’s important to think about what YOU want. If you are expecting support from him, it helps make it clear to him what your expectations are.

If you are having the baby, it’s also important that you attend all your antenatal appointments at the clinic, and tell your healthcare worker if you have made any suicide attempts while you have been pregnant. This is just so that they can check if anything has affected your health or the pregnancy.

It’s never easy dealing with pain and hurt like this, but you have taken an important step in asking for help.



B-Wise User Anonymous 11 November 2018 00:14

This guy broke up with me last month and I can't get over him..What must I do ð??­

B-Wise Expert Expert 12 November 2018 08:51

Hi Hlowney, sorry to hear about your break-up it must be difficult for you. Getting over a break up takes time, give yourself time, do things that you enjoy so you won't spend time thinking about your ex. If you feel you are struggling to cope you can talk to a counselor or psychologist at your local clinic.



B-Wise User Anonymous 4 November 2018 17:37

A guy I once dated last year we had a very good relationship until the day where be broke my virginity days after that happened he broke up with me. I was very ashamed and embarrassed especially at school because we were known as the 'perfect couple' now that he used me just for humiliating me in school it still hurts me everyday. Since last year I haven't been a relationship because of him and how he left me damaged. I need some advice of how I should get over him also considering I see him everyday at school?

B-Wise Expert Expert 5 November 2018 12:31

Hi Thabsie, sorry to hear about that, that is something very difficult to deal with. Seeing your ex at school every day must be more difficult because you are not yet over him. You can visit your local clinic and you can speak to a counselor or a psychologist who will be able to help you. 



B-Wise User Anonymous 26 June 2018 19:05

When you loved someone and then you found out that he has been playing you because of his friends and broke up with you how can you forget him quickly?

B-Wise Expert Expert 5 July 2018 18:30

Hi there, Breakups are never easy! Everybody handles breakups differently, but here are a few tips on what can help you deal with a breakup http://ow.ly/3Kee30kOxvY 



B-Wise User fifi cooper 11 June 2017 23:48

Hy.iam sphiwe i have a question?if a girl don't break up with you.bt she don't want to tell you bt she tells her friends that you are not his bae.what should you do?

B-Wise Expert Expert 14 June 2017 13:11

Hi Sphiwe, that’s a good question. It sounds like you’re not clear on how this girl feels about you. We can’t force anyone to tell us something they don’t want to. But we can be clear on what we want to accept, and what we don’t. You could try to have a clear, honest conversation with her and tell her where you stand. If she doesn’t want to tell you, you can decide whether you are happy to keep seeing her or not. If you want further help, try speaking to a counsellor or social worker at your school/university or clinic.