How to deal with a breakup

Breakups are never easy! In the beginning, relationships can seem perfect, and you might think that you will spend the rest of your life with your bae. When that relationship comes crashing down, you may be left with a broken heart, pain and sometimes even anger. Everybody handles breakups differently, but here are a few tips on what can help you deal with a breakup.

  • Mourn the end of your relationship, whether you were the dumper or dumped.
  • Talk about your feelings to close friends who can comfort you.
  • Remind yourself about the good things that you have to offer to the world.
  • Start doing fun things to fill the time that you would normally spend with your ex.
  • Think of the breakup as a lesson. It will help you to make better decisions in future.
  • Take things slowly if you start dating again.

  • Go out of your way to hurt your ex just because you are hurt!
  • Post emotional or angry statuses on your ex's social media - you will regret this later! If you don't trust yourself not to do this, rather unfriend or unfollow them.
  • Use alcohol or take drugs to cope with your feelings. They won't fix the problem, and they can put you in risky situations.

There will be good days and bad days, but with time you can get over your breakup. If you feel that you are not coping at all, it is a good idea to speak to a trusted adult. They might be able advise you on what to do next.

For more articles on relationships check out the Your Peeps section on B-Wise.

Add a Comment/Question
You need to be signed in to add a comment or like an article.


B-Wise User Anonymous 24 June 2020 19:30

Hi I was dating this guy and I also loved his best friend but when I Broke up with him he got my numbers from his friends and he told me that he was cheating on me but I knew that he was cheating but the question that I was asking myself is that why did he tell me after we broke up !? Was he thinking that I will forgive him or he wants me to give him another chance please tell me what to do because I don't want him in my life any longer

B-Wise Expert Expert 25 June 2020 08:57


Use the contact information below to talk to a counselor who can give you advice:

Get in touch with LoveLife's Contact Centre on 0800 121 900 or send a PLZ CAL ME to 083 323 1023 

You can also whatsapp Life Line at 065 989 9238

B-Wise User Anonymous 16 June 2020 00:38

Hi I am 12 years old and loved this boy soooo much we were in grade 2 but I found out he was Dating my friend. So I told my friend that I loved him and she told me there were dating. So I accepted the relationship but I still had feelings for him. So we end up dating but he kept on cheating on me with my friends so we dumped each other like 4/5 times so we are know in grade 6 and I still have feelings for him but he is dating my friend and I feel jealous.

B-Wise Expert Expert 17 June 2020 11:27

Hi there,

Use the contact information below to talk to a counselor who can give you advice:

Get in touch with LoveLife's Contact Centre on 0800 121 900 or send a PLZ CAL ME to 083 323 1023 

You can also whatsapp Life Line at 065 989 9238

B-Wise User Minka 22 May 2020 15:58

My ex is now dating my best friend what should I do

B-Wise Expert Expert 22 May 2020 16:17


Use the contact information below to talk to a counselor who can give you advice:

Get in touch with LoveLife's Contact Centre on 0800 121 900 or send a PLZ CAL ME to 083 323 1023 

You can also whatsapp Life Line at 065 989 9238

B-Wise User Janina 15 May 2020 23:09

I am dating my ex again but he says he wants to get maaried one day yesterday night he wants me to run away with him the thing is we never met before i don't know if its a scam to take me i am worried if i can't trust him but i am not ganna run away with him and he knows that but how can i be sure its not a scam?

B-Wise Expert Expert 18 May 2020 10:47


Please use the contact information below to talk to a counselor who can give you advice:

Get in touch with LoveLife's Contact Centre on 0800 121 900 or send a PLZ CAL ME to 083 323 1023. 

You can also whatsapp Life Line at 065 989 9238

B-Wise User NaoCity 15 May 2020 14:25

Hi everyone I've been dating this guy who is 4 years older than me for a year on our second year I broke up with him because I started being friends with his gf of which I knew of and was okay with it but it was because he wasn't giving me any kind of respect he used to kiss her in front of the whole school they used to seat in the ground where I saw everything they did and when I told him I didn't like that he used to ask if I never knew what was going on when I cried he used to tell me he is really sorry and I forgave me he used to care about me after we broke up one day I was involved in a accident he was there for me we've been through a lot but I dated his friend who once stole his one gf the problem is I still love him but then I'm afraid I'll be hurt he calls me like almost everyday is that fake?does he really love me? Plz help me

B-Wise Expert Expert 15 May 2020 17:37


Use the contact information below to talk to a counselor who can give you advice:

Get in touch with LoveLife's Contact Centre on 0800 121 900 or send a PLZ CAL ME to 083 323 1023 

B-Wise User Anonymous 11 May 2020 22:32


B-Wise Expert Expert 12 May 2020 11:17


You were not wrong to dump him.

B-Wise User Anonymous 17 April 2020 09:46

The guy i dated for abt 5 years nd 4 months,we have a child he got back to his first bbe mother...does tht mean this guy really love his first bbe mother or he got back to her bcz our misunderstandings(i broke his car windows(bcz I found out I m HIV+ nd he claims tht his negative),he claims tht i was controlling) me to understand wat does this guy think

B-Wise Expert Expert 17 April 2020 16:55

Hi there,

You need to sit down and talk to him to find out what he wants and what he is thinking.

Go to this link to find more contact numbers you can call to talk to a counselor: 

B-Wise User Anonymous 4 July 2019 09:24

Hi I don't know what to do anymore my boyfriend and I keep fighting about me cheating but im not cheating on him and doesn't believe to a point he stole my Facebook pin just to see I don't talk to guys n he has seen it still don't listen I don't he even told me how he almost bugged my phone so that he could listen to my calls n told him if you find it in your heart to see im nt cheating let me go he said no. Even yesterday we had fight because some guys said they where dating me and I don't believe some guys said that as he did lie alot n made stories about me cheating while I don't idk what wrong here he keeps believing rumours than me. Please help what can I do let it go n end it or try n fix it as I have tried and still no change in him??

B-Wise Expert Expert 9 July 2019 14:59

Hi there, thank you for your question. That is a difficult situation to be in, its not healthy to be in a relationship where there is no trust. You can try talking to your boyfriend and trying to explain to him that a relationship cannot work if there is no trust. You can check out this article about being in an unhealthy relationship Am I in an unhealthy relationship?

B-Wise User Anonymous 24 June 2019 13:20

Hey I have with my boyfriend for a month now and I thought we will never be in the relationship after what we've been through.I lost hope and then I jumped into a new I regret why I did coz I still love my old boyfriend and he is willing to take me back. So whaf must I do?

B-Wise Expert Expert 25 June 2019 15:38

Hi there, thank you for your question. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can be a difficult situation to be in. It would be best that you tell your new boyfriend that you may want to be his friend until you are ready to be in another relationship 

B-Wise User Mambonambi 23 June 2019 20:20

How to handle break up

B-Wise Expert Expert 24 June 2019 08:40

Hi there, this hoe you can deal with a breakup

B-Wise User Pholoso 7 June 2019 12:44

Hello, I've been married for 3 years and last year my wife left with our 2year old son. She hasn't divorced me yet but won't allow my son to visit me and my family. What can I do to have my son visit me?

B-Wise Expert Expert 10 June 2019 16:53

Hi there thank you for your question. Sorry to hear about your situation. You may have to go to court or visit the local police station to get an affidavit to see your son. 

B-Wise User Malindy 5 June 2019 22:25

I found out HIV+ while i was 20 weeks of pregnant and started away to take ARVs and i do accept my situation, i only have one question in my mind does my unborn child going to born negative as i wish ? Cos i also dicided to not breastfeeding if i give birth cos i want only the best for my child

B-Wise Expert Expert 9 June 2019 08:50

Hi there, read this article to get the answers you need

B-Wise User OnayDa1st 31 May 2019 20:55

Do you think black people take Break up serious?

B-Wise Expert Expert 3 June 2019 08:19

Hi there, thank you for your question. Yes everyone takes break-ups seriously a person does not have to be a certain race to take break-ups seriously

B-Wise User Anonymous 31 May 2019 13:42

HI how can I tell my mum I have depression?

B-Wise Expert Expert 31 May 2019 15:54

Hi thank you for your question. You can read this article to get your information How to talk to your parents or caregivers about important things

B-Wise User Anonymous 28 May 2019 22:58

Hello, why I always being hurt by every girl I date? And we don't last for long

B-Wise Expert Expert 31 May 2019 11:33

Hi there, thank you for your question. It would be that you may not be compatible with the girls you choose to date, give yourself some time to heal and learn before you get into your next relationship 

B-Wise User MOKGADI 27 May 2019 13:39

How then does one deal with a partner that just doesnt want to accept that you want out of the relationship?

B-Wise Expert Expert 28 May 2019 10:01

HI there, thank you for your question. Dealing with a break-up can be difficult. It would be best that you give your partner time to accept that you are no longer in the relationship. Avoid keeping contact with your ex-partner will also help them accept that the relationship is over. 

B-Wise User Anonymous 16 May 2019 15:40

Everything is clear

B-Wise User Anonymous 9 May 2019 17:57

Hi im a 24 years old guy im dating im dating a 21 years old gal.i have a problem with her she is always logged in on facebook but she dont start conversations with me when i ask her she tells me that i have to start the conversation, but when i start the conversation she dont reply , and when i ask her why are you not replying she tells me that she was busy and says that she dont want to be asked many â?? and now she dumped me.and im not happy with it

B-Wise User Joy07064 21 December 2018 20:35

Hi M 22 of age and my boyfriend is 24 we have been dating for 4 years now and six months as we had our difficulties but we managed to overcome everything he took my virginity and I didn't regret a thing cause I trusted him with everything I gave him my all,he cheated on me and I still forgave him he slept with Two girls and yet I still forgave him not because m stupid or anything but I loved him and very much and I still do and yes we broke up since this early in October and worst part m carrying his child it's very Hard and it's hurt at the very same time I even tried to commit suicide twice And I don't have anyone to talk to that's why I signed to B.Wise because I really need help I really do

B-Wise Expert Expert 7 January 2019 09:35

Hi there. Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have been through so much together, and it makes sense that it hurts a lot right now. It’s OK to feel sad and angry about what has happened. You may feel these feelings for a while. But if it’s affecting your life, your health, or even your will to live, it would be a good idea for you to get some support for what you’re going through. You are worth it, and suicide is not the best solution. If you want to speak to someone face-to-face, you can see if a clinic near you has a counsellor, psychologist or social worker Clinic finder   or speak to a social worker or psychologist at your school. If you can’t find anyone you trust close by, you can call Lifeline on 0861 322 322 or SADAG’s Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837 - they have counsellors available to support you. This article can help too: For anyone thinking about suicide…

Carrying his child also means that there are things to think about and work out – does he know about the pregnancy? Do you want to have the child and raise the child? What are you expecting from him? These are hard questions to answer, but it’s important to think about what YOU want. If you are expecting support from him, it helps make it clear to him what your expectations are.

If you are having the baby, it’s also important that you attend all your antenatal appointments at the clinic, and tell your healthcare worker if you have made any suicide attempts while you have been pregnant. This is just so that they can check if anything has affected your health or the pregnancy.

It’s never easy dealing with pain and hurt like this, but you have taken an important step in asking for help.

B-Wise User Anonymous 11 November 2018 00:14

This guy broke up with me last month and I can't get over him..What must I do ð??­

B-Wise Expert Expert 12 November 2018 08:51

Hi Hlowney, sorry to hear about your break-up it must be difficult for you. Getting over a break up takes time, give yourself time, do things that you enjoy so you won't spend time thinking about your ex. If you feel you are struggling to cope you can talk to a counselor or psychologist at your local clinic.

B-Wise User Anonymous 4 November 2018 17:37

A guy I once dated last year we had a very good relationship until the day where be broke my virginity days after that happened he broke up with me. I was very ashamed and embarrassed especially at school because we were known as the 'perfect couple' now that he used me just for humiliating me in school it still hurts me everyday. Since last year I haven't been a relationship because of him and how he left me damaged. I need some advice of how I should get over him also considering I see him everyday at school?

B-Wise Expert Expert 5 November 2018 12:31

Hi Thabsie, sorry to hear about that, that is something very difficult to deal with. Seeing your ex at school every day must be more difficult because you are not yet over him. You can visit your local clinic and you can speak to a counselor or a psychologist who will be able to help you. 

B-Wise User Anonymous 26 June 2018 19:05

When you loved someone and then you found out that he has been playing you because of his friends and broke up with you how can you forget him quickly?

B-Wise Expert Expert 5 July 2018 18:30

Hi there, Breakups are never easy! Everybody handles breakups differently, but here are a few tips on what can help you deal with a breakup 

B-Wise User fifi cooper 11 June 2017 23:48

Hy.iam sphiwe i have a question?if a girl don't break up with she don't want to tell you bt she tells her friends that you are not his bae.what should you do?

B-Wise Expert Expert 14 June 2017 13:11

Hi Sphiwe, that’s a good question. It sounds like you’re not clear on how this girl feels about you. We can’t force anyone to tell us something they don’t want to. But we can be clear on what we want to accept, and what we don’t. You could try to have a clear, honest conversation with her and tell her where you stand. If she doesn’t want to tell you, you can decide whether you are happy to keep seeing her or not. If you want further help, try speaking to a counsellor or social worker at your school/university or clinic.