I can’t control my anger. Help!

Everyone gets angry sometimes – anger is a normal human emotion. It’s is only a problem when it’s out of control. That means maybe you’ve hurt someone else, or yourself, or gotten into trouble for what you did when you were angry. So how do you make sure it doesn’t get out of control? Here are some things to try:

  • Know your triggers. Be aware of what makes you angry, and try to avoid those things/people. If you can’t avoid them, at least prepare yourself.
  • Breathe. Focus on your own breath, slow it down, and breathe deeply. Try to breathe in for 8 seconds and out for 10 seconds.
  • Exercise. Get your anger out by walking, running, boxing, or playing a sport.
  • STOP and think. Learn what it feels like when you get angry (e.g. heart pumping faster, feeling hot). When you notice yourself getting angry, imagine a big red STOP sign in your mind. Ask yourself what will happen if you act on this anger. Is it worth it? Will it make things any better for you?
  • Express yourself. Talk to a trusted adult or friend about what’s bothering you. Sometimes it really helps to get it out. Drawing, painting, making music or dancing can also help.

If something is making you angry a lot, work on letting it go. Anger is healthy sometimes, but not when it hurts you and the people around you. If you are struggling to manage your anger, speak to a social worker, counsellor or psychologist about it – you are not alone and counselling can help. If you think you might be a bully, read our article “I think I'm a bully… how do I stop?”

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