I will get tested; I will know my status

I am an adolescent and I am sexually active. My friends decided to go for prevention pills so that they do not fall pregnant, so that was the way to protect ourselves. I mean I trusted my boyfriend and thought that having unprotected sex with him will prove how much I love him. As we continued having sex without a condom for a couple of months, I found out I was not the only girl he was shagging with. In fact the reality of the situation was that he was cheating on his girlfriend with me and some other girls. WHAT A SHOCK!!

I had to move on and I took responsibility and went for an HIV test. I received counselling before the test and decided indeed I would like to know my status. I had to wait for fifteen minutes before I could receive the results. It was the longest fifteen minutes in my life. Fortunately, the test was negative. I was advised about the window period (this means that the virus may be present but undetectable and I need to be tested again in a few weeks).

Of course I was very happy and relieved about the results. It was also an eye opener to discover that I am the only one who can take care of ME. I haven’t had sex since then, and even if I decide otherwise, I will always use a condom, because I know that before I can be faithful to my partner I have to be faithful to myself. I am currently living an HIV free life and I intend to keep it like that, although having HIV is not a death sentence.

We cannot choose our families but we can choose friends, what we say to and about others, what we do and when, where we go and not. This simply says we are responsible for our actions; we are the ones who take decisions and let us be responsible. We choose what to entertain and I choose to focus on my studies and future.

Thandeka* 19 years

(Name changed)

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B-Wise User Khully 11 August 2020 13:29

Hi doctor nginenkinga nateta January 2019 ngopha u3months ngajova umjovo ka3months nglokh ngbuyel ngyojov every after 3months ngagcina February 2020 angangaya kumaperiods but now sengiqale phansi ngyopha every after one week

B-Wise Expert Expert 11 August 2020 13:57


This could be a side effect of the injection. If your periods don't come then please go get checked at the clinic

B-Wise User Anonymous 10 August 2020 22:46

Which is preferable morning after pills or simple injections?

B-Wise Expert Expert 11 August 2020 13:35

Hi there,

Morning after pills are for an emergency and are not for everyday use.

Read this to find out about all the contraceptive options: https://bwisehealth.com/article/different-kinds-of-contraceptives-and-family-planning-options-to-prevent-pregnancy

B-Wise User Anonymous 9 July 2020 14:18

Hi I have a problem... I've been preventing with injection ( depo) ya 3months Nd bengingay Kuma periods bt now I went to periods for whole 2 weeks. What should I do because at clinic they said they only help emergency people only

B-Wise Expert Expert 9 July 2020 17:37

Hi there,

This is normal. The injection can lead to you not having periods at all and then sometimes they do come and they may take a while.

If the periods don't stop soon then you need to go to the clinic and tell them it's an emergency

B-Wise User Anonymous 8 July 2020 10:31

Hi plz share covid 19 hotline plz I think I'm infected

B-Wise Expert Expert 8 July 2020 17:26


The hotline is 0800 029 999

B-Wise User Anonymous 1 July 2020 21:46

Can a person on window period effect their partner?

B-Wise Expert Expert 2 July 2020 09:06

Hi there,

Yes, a person can still infect their partner during the window period

B-Wise User Anonymous 26 June 2020 08:21

Hi guys I have a boyfriend so he was cheat on me so wat can I do to get him back.

B-Wise Expert Expert 26 June 2020 16:51


Use the contact information below to talk to a counselor who can give you advice:

Get in touch with LoveLife's Contact Centre on 0800 121 900 or send a PLZ CAL ME to 083 323 1023 

You can also whatsapp Life Line at 065 989 9238

B-Wise User Anonymous 11 June 2020 18:37

Hi I have a question if you were in my situation what would you do all my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends while I am the only single one should I get a boyfriend and should I have sex with him

B-Wise Expert Expert 12 June 2020 11:10

Hi there,

Please read this article: https://bwisehealth.com/article/sex-on-the-mind-are-you-ready

and this one: https://bwisehealth.com/article/peer-pressure-dealing-with-it

B-Wise User Sandra Sedze 22 May 2020 13:15

My vagina has a funny pain. What can I do

B-Wise Expert Expert 22 May 2020 14:11


You need to go to a clinic or doctor to get checked. They will tell you what is happening after checking you

B-Wise User Anonymous 21 April 2020 00:02

Hey I have a question, I have one boyfriend and I haven't cheated on him and he claims that he is not cheating on me so one day I had these strange pains on my womb then I decided to go to the clinic I found out that I have a STI SO I WAS GIVEN PILLS AND I WAS given AN INJECTION. SO THE NURSE TOLD ME TO TELL HIM THAT HE MUST GO TO THE CLINIC TO GET PILLS AND injection THEN HE REFUSED saying THAT HE IS NOT CHEATING SO WERE IS THIS STI coming FROM. SO MY question IS WHAT TO I DO ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING BECAUSE I LOVE THIS GUY.

B-Wise Expert Expert 21 April 2020 13:45

Hi there,

Firstly, you need to talk to him again and tell him to go to the clinic and get checked. You also need to go get tested for HIV as well.

You need to stop having unprotected sex with you partner because he is putting your health in danger.

B-Wise User Zizi14 18 March 2020 20:12

Nginenkinga Uma ngenzan ucansi ngizwa izinhlungu ft angichami

B-Wise Expert Expert 23 March 2020 11:54

Hello Zizi, 

Ukuzwa ubuhlungu kusho kuthi umzimba wakho usuke ungakalungeli ucansi. Sebenzisa i lubricant ukuze ube manzi 

B-Wise User Anonymous 8 January 2020 10:18

Mina ngifisa ukwazi ukuthi uma ulala nomuntu weslisa onegciwane osokile uyatheleleka yini

B-Wise Expert Expert 9 January 2020 10:53

Hi there, thank you for your question. You can find your answers herehttps://bwisehealth.com/article/mmc-all-the-facts-about-medical-male-circumcision-exposed 

B-Wise User Mduduzi ndlovu 15 December 2019 11:14

Mina ngfisa ukukwazi ngalala nomuntu owazalwa nesifo sengculaz ngingaz naye elokh eti akanaso.saqal ngodisemb 22 2019 ngaze ngayokutol ukuti uyagula ngenkati sakumele abhalisele isisu .kwasekung meyi.ngamupelezel emtholampile kwati esehlolwa wabanjwa .bangihlola nami ngangabanjwa umsiz wati ukumele ngihlal ngibuy ukuzohlolela ngob mhla sipuma siyongilahla pansi .kusuka ngalelo langa ngamtshela ukuti sosebenzisa icondom ngize ngibanje .sekupele unyaka saqala ukuhlangana .sekupele sekupele inyanga eziwu 7 sesili sebenzisa icondom .manje uvalo lusangishay yize ngihlola nyang zonke .ngilapa .kumele ngihlol iskhat esingakanan ukuze ngiqinisek ukuti akukho ukugula .mangitola kahl uti wazalw Okung khatazay Ngazalwa nginomuzimba ojwayelekile. ngati NGO 2014 ngaqala ukuba yisdula kangangokuti nosiz 30 wasunga sanglingan .ngangisinda 76 manje ngaloy nyak engaqal ukuhlana naye ngaqal ukwehla emzimbeni manje ngisinda 69 usize 30 usuyang xega kakhulu

B-Wise Expert Expert 9 January 2020 10:46

Hi there, thank you for your question. Remember it is important to always use a condom every time you have sex. You will need to test every 6 months to check your status 

B-Wise User Anonymous 18 November 2019 12:11

okay so if someone is infected and you sleep with them during this window period you can contract the virus...if the blood test shows negative meaning they couldn't find the virus in the blood... but if you sleep with someone they can contract the virus, why don't doctors make it compulsory to also do sperm test when testing for HIV??

B-Wise Expert Expert 25 November 2019 10:55

Hi there, learn about HIV here https://bwisehealth.com/category/hiv

B-Wise User Anonymous 11 November 2019 23:58

I'm a Nigeria,... 4 Complete 3 half years I have been sleeping and living under the same roof with my girl friend who's has not been working.... I wasn't cheating on her my phone is never locked with password,..she could comfirm every activities of my life,... Great shocking story is that she went for hiv test and tested positive and she couldn't open up to me until I found out my self.... What a wicked world,... When I went for test luckly I tested negative and I was put on prep.... The first day of my prep,.. I saw the whole people turning and jumping like monkeys..... My good people tell me what I should do with her,....

B-Wise Expert Expert 12 November 2019 09:50

Hi there, thank you for your question. Your girlfriend may have found it difficult to open up about her status to you as she may have been in shock, finding out that you are HIV is a difficult situation to deal with. It would be best that you talk to your girlfriend and let her explain to you what happened, thereafter you can decide what is the best thing for your relationship.

B-Wise User Anonymous 14 October 2019 09:53

during the window period when you're hiv positive but the results of the test shows negative,if you sleep with someone during this window period,will they contract the virus

B-Wise Expert Expert 20 October 2019 15:45

Hi there, thank you for your question. Yes it is possible for them to contact the virus, thats why it is always a good idea to wear a condom

B-Wise User Anonymous 27 June 2019 19:03

If you have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive without knowing that and found out later and I go to clinic for tests the was nothing 3 months back can I stress

B-Wise Expert Expert 28 June 2019 10:28

HI thank you for your question. if you mean, the clinic told you to come back in 3 months, this is because it takes time until the virus shows in your blood so the next time you go they will do another test.

B-Wise User Stuks 12 June 2019 14:16

Well done girl I'm proud of you ð???ð???

B-Wise User Keotshepile 17 May 2019 09:14

Kudos on you for getting tested

B-Wise User Ngcutw 10 May 2019 09:16

I'm so proud of u thandeka.

B-Wise User Anonymous 10 May 2019 09:15

I'm so proud of u thandeka.

B-Wise User Anonymous 3 May 2019 22:24

:) good girl

B-Wise User Anonymous 11 March 2019 11:40

Great inspiration

B-Wise User randa 8 March 2019 13:51

Wow thandeka you made a great decision knowing your status its very important and im so glad that you shared your story so that we as other people we can learn what we do not know.Big up to you girl !

B-Wise User Ntushozi 9 February 2019 23:17

Big Up to you Thandeka!! One would rather be faithful to themselves first and then be faithful to his/her partner, Condomise, Condomise,Condomise and also do family planning to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

B-Wise User Anonymous 16 December 2018 16:44

I'm so proud of you Thandeka, I relate so much with your story but I was the unfortunate one. My results came out Positive but I started with the treatment as soon as I knew my status.I was so devastated and frustrated and I'm still angry at the guy even today because I don't even know if he knows he is HIV positive or does not know. He almost ruined my life, because I was depressed and didn't have anyone to talk to. Always Condomise people. Some people are out there to ruin other people's lives. Safe yourself I learned the HARD way.

B-Wise User Kagiso82 6 December 2018 19:54

I'm proud of you Thandeka and I'm encouraged too . Knowing your status is the right thing to do, Thank you for an inspiring story

B-Wise User Kabelogoodwill 20 November 2018 15:22

Well done girl! Don't know you, but I hear your story. So proud!

B-Wise User Anonymous 5 November 2018 16:04

I certainly can relate to your story, unfortunately for me I am living with the virus at age 22 but I am very proud to have taken stand with regards my health and I continue living a healthy lifestyle to live my life to its fullest.

B-Wise User Ttttt 26 August 2018 21:46

Great job for tasting

B-Wise Expert Expert 27 August 2018 05:53

Hi there, thank you for your comment. Yes we agree, it was a great decision to make. It's important to get tested and to know your status.

B-Wise User Legit the kid 17 July 2018 16:21

You done a great job,going for hiv test.sometimes guys are dwag

B-Wise User peggy 4 July 2018 13:06

why you trust the person you don't know

B-Wise Expert Expert 9 July 2018 12:14

Hi there. Thank you for your comment and taking the time to read Thandeka's story.

B-Wise User Kandy 4 May 2018 17:12


B-Wise User Mstb 20 April 2018 19:13

Wow I'm very proud of you honestly I would like to tell you pat yourself in the back for standing up and knowing your status not most people will do that and as for living an Hive free live style that's a good choice, all I can say is don't forget to go back to recheck your status no matter the results you learn from you're mistakes and move on.

B-Wise Expert Expert 23 April 2018 11:55

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read this story! We are happy that you are inspired by it.

B-Wise User Anonymous 20 October 2017 15:02

Wow thandeka u inspired many young girls its treu its not a dead sentence its how u life your heart

B-Wise Expert Expert 20 April 2018 11:47

Hi there, thank you for your feedback! We are happy that you are inspired by this story.

B-Wise User slender 26 June 2017 00:33

The story is very motivation to us as young girls

B-Wise Expert Expert 20 April 2018 12:04

Hey there, thank you for your feedback.  

B-Wise User seaconutey 30 July 2016 01:06

Indeed you're the only one who can take care of yourself and protecting yourself and securing your future is It's the best decision that you're making...please encourage or to so too

B-Wise User Anonymous 20 July 2016 11:52

Its always wise yo know ur status n stay safe.

B-Wise User skhalo 14 May 2016 11:23

Thandeka u are an inspiring person indeed a happy to hear how changed u ar

B-Wise User Tiisetso 13 May 2016 13:24

thats very Educative,its very important to know our status

B-Wise User nobom. 17 March 2016 23:49

the story is very motivating for us as young girls.. boys are playing with us and the worse part they take long to be infected