Losing your cool? Ways to calm down

“When I lose my cool, yoh! There’s no knowing what I might do. Don’t even come near me.”

Is this you? Do you do or say things you regret when you’re angry, like getting into fights or saying hurtful things? It’s normal to get angry sometimes, but if you lose your cool (get so angry that you feel out of control) often, and you want to do it less, these tips are for you.

  1. What are you really angry about? If you lose your temper all the time, maybe it’s not about the little things that happen in the moment to make you angry. Maybe there’s something deeper you’re angry about… or maybe getting angry is a useful way to get what you want.
  2. Step away from the situation. Take some time to calm down, take a few deep breaths, and think if it’s worth it to lose your temper. Usually if you take a few minutes, a lot of your anger will go away.
  3. Distract yourself. Touching something in your pocket like a coin can help to distract you. If music or books aren’t your thing, punching a pillow or squeezing a soft ball can also help.
  4. Find a solution. Losing your temper doesn’t actually help to solve the problem! It might scare people or make them angry. People may fear you rather than respect you. If you are angry it’s because you’re facing a problem, so rather focus on that.
  5. Think 2 steps ahead. If you hit that person, is it going to end well for you? If you shout at the other person are you going to get what you want? Think about what will happen if you lose your temper, and decide if it’s something you want.

It’s normal to feel angry – but losing your temper doesn’t always help you, or anyone else. BUT that doesn’t mean you should keep your emotions in or bottle them up. Talking about it with a friend, trusted adult or counsellor can help. For more help dealing with your anger, read our article I can’t control my anger. Help!


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