Waiting for the right person

We hear relationship advice everywhere. Friends, family, church, TV and social media all have things to say about who we should be dating and how we should do it. But sometimes this advice can be confusing, or one person’s advice goes against another person’s.

You might hear that you should wait for the right person before having sex for the first time. If this sounds wise to you, you’ll have to decide…who is the “right person”?

The right person is different for everyone, but it’s someone you like as a person – not just as a friend, or a hook-up, but as someone who is special to you. You like the person for more than just their looks or the nice things they can give you. With the right person you should feel OK to discuss things like getting tested for HIV and STIs, using condoms every time, and not doing anything you don’t want to.

A lot of people can give you advice, but in the end, you are the person who owns your decisions and their consequences. This means the person you are with should be someone YOU really trust, not just someone your friends or family like. But it also means that YOU have to live with whatever happens in the relationship – so choose wisely!

For more about healthy and unhealthy relationships, check out our section on Connecting


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tsie 13 June 2017 21:36

Hy i am mpho.I would like to ask you that if a girl is having sex before and she is going to meet the right guy. How will that guy knws that his bea is not a virgin?anymore

B-Wise Expert Expert 15 June 2017 20:47

Hi Mpho, thanks for your question. There’s no way for a guy to check if a girl is a virgin or not. Sometimes a girl’s hymen (the thin layer of skin insider her vagina) breaks when she has sex for the first time, but it can also break for other reasons, so checking if the hymen is there is not a good way to tell. If a girl feels comfortable to tell her partner if she has had sex before, she can – but it’s her choice whether or not to tell them.