What is virginity?

You’ve probably heard a lot of different things about virginity, but what is the truth? A virgin is someone who has not had sex. So virginity is really just being a virgin. It’s not a thing that you can see or touch – it’s something personal that you know about yourself.

But virginity is not a simple thing. It can mean different things to different people. For example, girls sometimes hear that it’s not a good thing for them to lose their virginity. On the other hand, boys may hear that they must lose their virginity, and that this makes them a man. Cultures and religions often have things to say about virginity too. It can be confusing!

For some people, a girl’s virginity means that the girl’s hymen (a thin layer of skin inside the vagina) has not been broken. It was once thought that the hymen can only break if a woman has sex with a man. But we now know that girls’ hymens can break in other ways too, like when they play sport. People in same-sex relationships or heterosexual (opposite-sex) relationships will also see sex and virginity differently from each other.

The reality is that there is no clear way to see if someone is a virgin – and that’s not a bad thing, because your virginity is really no one’s business except yours. Other people in your life might have things to say, but in the end it should be your decision when and how you have sex.

If you’re thinking about having sex, read more about figuring out if you are really ready here. Remember to protect yourself with contraceptives if you are considering having sex.

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B-Wise User Anonymous 15 May 2020 17:44

Is it neccessary for a guy to finger a virgin girl before sex?

B-Wise Expert Expert 18 May 2020 10:20


You must ask your partner what she prefers before having sex. Maybe she wants to be fingered or she doesn't.

B-Wise User Anonymous 21 June 2017 00:52

@Tokologo asked a question on facebook: What is secondary virginity?

B-Wise Expert Expert 23 June 2017 13:23

Hi Tokologo, thanks for your question. Secondary virginity is when a person has already had sex in the past and makes a decision/commitment to abstain from sex. This usually means that the person has a goal to wait for a committed or lifelong monogamous relationship such as marriage.

B-Wise User Anonymous 16 March 2017 19:01

Is it true a person can see if you not a virgin by the way you stand or walk

B-Wise Expert Expert 13 April 2018 14:10

Hi there, thank you for your question. The only way to check if a person is a virgin or not is if they go to a doctor or a nurse that can check them up to see if they are a virgin or not.