What’s the difference between sex and love?

Love and sex can both be big parts of a relationship. But they can be hard to understand! You might have heard people say that sex is a way to show that you love someone or that someone loves you. Or that having sex can make you fall in love with someone. But those things aren’t always true. The truth is, sex and love are different things. Sometimes they happen at the same time, and sometimes they don’t.

Sex is a physical action. It means that people are using their bodies, usually to get pleasure and feel good. Different people have different ideas of what counts as sex, but it can happen between any two people, or even on your own (masturbation).

Love, on the other hand, is a feeling, and it comes from your mind and your heart. There are many different kinds of love: the love you have for your family is different from the love you feel for your friends. Romantic love, or the love you have for a girlfriend or boyfriend, is a special kind of love too.

Loving someone means a lot: it means you feel close to them and you want them to be happy. You can love someone without having sex with them. And a person can have sex with someone without loving them. It’s important to figure out what you want in a relationship – sex, love, or both? Whatever the answer is, it helps to be honest with yourself and the other person about it.

For more on relationships, check out the Basics of S-E-X section on BWiseHealth.com

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B-Wise User Anonymous 22 June 2019 12:57

I've been in a relationship of 4 years now but I don't feel anything whenever we have sex.I don't enjoy it anymore and for love I don't think I know whether I still love him or not? Confused

B-Wise Expert Expert 24 June 2019 08:47

Hi, that does sound confusing! But many people find that their feelings change in a long-term relationship.

It could be because they have really lost feeling for the person and have outgrown them or are ready to move on.

Or it might be that feeling nothing is a mask – it is covering up some more difficult feelings about the relationship, like anger or guilt.

If that’s true, you will still feel excited and interested in other things in your life. But if you don’t feel excited or connected to anyone or anything, it’s important to check your own feelings and see if there is something leading to that. There are states like anxiety, anger, grief, trauma and depression that can leave us feeling numb. Find out more in our Mental Health Toolbox section https://bwisehealth.com/category/mental-health-toolbox.

But to know if you really love him or not… only you can answer that! Do you miss him when he’s gone? Would you be upset if something bad happened to him? Be really honest with yourself – talking to someone  you trust, or writing about your feelings, can help you get to the truth. Then you can decide if you want to work on this together with your partner, or if the problem is too deep and the relationship is over. Good luck!

B-Wise User Anonymous 26 November 2018 23:30

Met a guy a year ago then after 2 months since we dated we had sex n he broke my virginity...so there wasnt time fir us to spend so me time together and do our thing because he's working and um at campus,so now our relationship ended because he says I dont sleep with him,he expects me to spend a night with him but I respect my parents and I dont want to sneak out at night,what if I get caught...so I feel guilty that I failed to save my relationship and everynight I cry because I really love the guy I really do...what should I do please help me

B-Wise Expert Expert 3 December 2018 09:36

Hi Boits. thank you for your question. Remember no one should pressure you into having sex, you should be ready and you should feel safe to do so. There are many different things that make a relationship for example communicating with your partner about how you feel.