Should I come out about my sexuality or identity?

Our sexuality or gender identity is a part of who we are. Knowing you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, asexual or another identity (LGBTQIA+) means you understand a part of yourself.

Now you may face some decisions about coming out (telling someone else about your gender identity or sexuality). 

Here are things to think about:

Do I want to come out?

There is no wrong answer to this question. Coming out is your decision, and you have the right to tell (or not tell) anyone you like. Coming out is a relief for some people and can bring them closer to their friends or family. But if someone is prejudiced (they have judgements about you) or doesn’t understand you, coming out could be hurtful or even put you in danger. Even if you don’t want to come out, that’s fine. Do whatever feels right and safe for you.

Who do I come out to?

If you do want to come out to someone in your life, first think about: 

  • Their attitudes toward people with your sexual orientation or gender identity
  • How they will probably react
  • Why you want to come out to them
  • If you are financially dependent on them, and what would happen if they rejected you

Remember, always put your safety first and make the decision that is right for you.

To learn more about the different sexualities and ways to identify, check out our article What does LGBTQIA+ mean?

When people talk about their sex, their gender, their identity, or their attraction, they are talking about different things. Learn about what these mean here

Want to understand what it means to be transgender? Check out this article

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